Have you ever experienced periods in your life where life just seems difficult?
It does not matter what you do, you keep on walking into a brick wall. Sometimes, it seems that pressure is coming from all sides. And, although you are trying your best, you just want to run away and go a hide for a while. Your stress levels are off the scale, you do not sleep and you are irritable. Eventually anxiety sets in and then depression.
So often, I have clients sitting in my office, and I can see this person would love to lie down for a while and forget to do anything. They turn left, the turn right, but nothing works. Back they cannot, because they cannot turn the clock back. Forward is an absolute nightmare and the goal they had, lies in pieces at their feet. They know something must change, but what?
Life has a “cruel” way to stop us in our tracks when we do not want to learn. Have you ever been sick after a period of high stress? Why? Your body needs time to repair. When we are in periods of high stress we live for extended period in what is know as a “fight or flight” state. Usually, that state will only last for a short period, while we deal with the immediate problem. But we do not, do we? We mull it over and we do not sleep at night. Ever second of every day that we are not distracted, we return to that problem. Your body does not know if the threat is real, or if you are only thinking about it. You place your body in a place of constant “fight or flight”. That is why you often get sick after an extended period of stress. And often we have physical symptoms during the stress period – skin rushes for one. Headaches. Sore joints. And then, the fearful heart attacks. It sometimes seems like a classic case of, if you do not want to learn, then you must feel.
Personally, I think we are so noisy and busy in our heads that our body steps in to stop us, so that we can hear.
Often, things “conspire” in the a way when we need to learn a lesson. Life’s lessons are only there for you to grow. When life is smooth sailing and the sun is shining, we do not give a second to our growth. No why would we? Everything is perfect.
But is it?
We are all here on earth to find our true self and that special gift we bring to the world. The only way we grow, sadly, is when “things” are tough. In the process of “tough” we place ourselves under immense stress while we fight the change that needs to happen within us.
And boy, can we fight that change.
And so, from time to time, the forces conspire and forces us to learn the lesson.
What do you do when the walls start tumbling in around you?
1. STOP. That moment you feel that you no longer know which way to turn, that is the exact moment you need to stop. Breathe in deep, know you are still here, know you are alive. Once you stop yourself, in that instant, you give yourself the opportunity to “hear” your inner voice. I often say to people, the only time you need to react is when a car, bus, train or truck is heading straight at you. The rest of the time, take a breath, have a cup of tea or coffee and re-evaluate.
2. Become quiet. Find time in the day, best is early in the morning, and become still. Be it in prayer, meditation or what else you might want to do, it does not matter. Studies have shown, that people who have silence for 10 – 15 minutes every day, are overall much calmer. The moment you take away all the outside stimulants, you have time to hear your inner voice, you have time to be creative in thought. It is in moments like this that we suddenly have the opportunity to look at the “problem” differently.
3. It is only a lesson. If you can train yourself that the moment life becomes “difficult”, that there is a lesson to be learned, you will handle the problem so much differently. And that is exactly what difficult times are. They are lessons. But we are so busy fighting the dragon, that we do not take a moment to learn the lesson. And from experience I can promise, if you do not learn the lesson now, life will bring it back time and again until you learn the lesson. Nest time, instead of going into stress and believing that all conspires against you, ask yourself, what is the lesson I need to learn here?
4. Why worry? There is a saying that goes something like this: if you have a problem and there is nothing you can do about it, why worry? If there is something you can do about it, then why do you worry? Basically, place the problem in one of two categories and stop stressing. I completely understand that there are times when time is the problem, but there is therefore a light at the end of the tunnel. By stressing about something that you cannot change or have no control over, why do you stress? Let it go. Stressing about it is not going to solve the problem. Maybe it is not even your problem to start with, maybe your lesson right here is to let go and not to control everything…
5. How do you eat an elephant? If you have a solution to the problem. Sit down, work out a time frame and steps to take towards the solution of the problem. If it is not something you can sort out like that, chances are great that it is an ego problem and you need to step back. Any problem will give you the opportunity to work out a “program”. And then you tackle the problem bit by bit. Rome was not built in a day. Plants do not produce fruit in a day. There is a process to everything. Be realistic, maybe patience is just what you need to learn.
So often we ask for wisdom, strength, patience, etc. But how do we get those things/qualities? Do you walk into a shop and select off the shelf what you want a bit of today? No, you need to learn the lesson so there can be an imprint on your mind.
You do not want to spend the time and the money again, learn the lesson now and lessen your stress and anxiety. Set yourself free.
Sue Leppan
Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
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