Have you reached a point in your life where you feel you are stuck? Nothing changes, nothing works out and you're frustrated? You cannot reach your goals. You do not have the energy to stay on course. We live in a world with so much stress and pressure on us to be someone, to perform and conform.
What do you do?
Most people will not admit it outright. Anything to do with the mind is psychological. Period. Decided, and you think I am not “sick in my head”. I do not need a psychologist. Personally, I think you could not be further from the truth – I do not mean needing a psychologist, but you might need help. Not everyone is a plumber, an accountant, a mechanic, an optometrist, etc. Why would you assume that when you are going down the spiral because of stress, etc. that you have all the knowledge to climb out the well? You have it all within you, but you need new spectacles to see the steps. Nothing is wrong with you, you only need a map again.
Let me just say, there is no such thing as wrong. In life, there is no such thing. There are choices, for very sure, and those choices either put us on a path of our purpose here on earth or not. And that path you are on now, how right it might feel, will change along the way. You will outgrow it. You will want change again. And human nature, that subconscious, kicks in, because change will lead to discomfort. And we kick and scream.
And one of our biggest fears? Apart from fear itself, is change. The unknown.
So, what do we do when we reach that point?
We run to our collaegues and our friends. We speak to mom and dad. We read self-help books and we watch YouTube. Or, we escape into endless TV, parties or we go into depression. This circle then leads you back to stress and anxiety, because within this sphere, nothing is ever going to change.
The reality is that it is our mind. It is our subconscious that keeps us stuck in that rut. Not out of spite. Not out of ignorance. The only purpose of the subconscious is our survival. When you learned as a 7 year old that there is a part of your brain that makes sure you breathe, and your heart does not stop, it keeps you alive, the information was 100% correct. But that part of the brain, that 95% of the brain, does a lot more than that to keep your heart pumping and you breathing. And over time, we have trained it how to “keep us alive”. We have built filters and negative beliefs. Within that lies our insecurities. And that is our hand brake to life.
The purpose of a life coach is to empower you to live the best, fullest life you possibly can. A life coach is not only your ra-ra supporter, a life coach is your coach. And like any sports coach, a life coach is there to be tough and inspiring, designing with you the path forward and showing you the progress. A life coach keeps you on track, so you do not place your energy anywhere else but in your own best future.
Nothing to fear, you can resolve this “stuckness”.
Where do you start?
1. Acknowledge. The first thing always, is to acknowledge that you require help. You cannot change what you do not own. While you are stumbling around with friends and colleagues, etc., you might learn something here and there. But, you still have not taken responsibility. Nope it is their “problem” and that worked for them. I am not them. We are all special and one of a kind. Find your own, one of a kind, way forward.
2. Choose a Coach. When you choose a coach, you must choose the one that is right for you. Life Coaching cannot be a cake that flopped, and you fill the holes with icing. It has to be a house with a massive crack. You need to chop away at the crack till you find the problem and then build it up from there. Each coach has their own technique, or techniques, that they use, and you need to find the one that answers your questions. A couch should never become your crutch. A coach’s job should be to enable you to grow and empower yourself, to be independent and to move forward in life with new skills to the life you want.
3. Personal and Professional. A life coach will work with you to achieve and exceed your goals in both your personal and professional life. You are your professional life. You walk into your career with all your emotions and limiting beliefs. You do not miraculously leave them at the door and become a different person. You might find it difficult to reach your targets within your profession. You might be in doubt that you are qualified or have the skills for a position. It is virtually impossible to change you within your career, without changing you in your personal life.
4. The cost to your life. The moment your current life and your belief system starts costing you in the way of moving forward, losing out on promotions, not changing jobs for a better future, no motivation to stick to a diet or exercise routine, no energy to be a supportive and active parent, you could need a coach. Cost cannot always be measured in money, but any of the above, when you sit down and you analyse them, you will see that there is a monetary value to all your limitations. Be realistic, be critical and calculate how much longer can you afford to stay stagnant? How much longer can you afford not to grow?
5. The Road map. Once you reach a point where you know no way forward, no willpower and you loose your mojo, you need some direction. A life coach is there to help you formulate that structure. You will identify the end goal and all the steps along the way. A life coach will guide you towards finding your vision and drive, keep you accountable by working with your strengths and eliminating your weaknesses.
6. Strengths and weaknesses. Through a set of very powerful and specific questions, a coach will identify, with you, what the beliefs are that hold you back and what are your strengths. We all have them, you were not excluded. In a safe and supportive environment, you will be free to express your true frustrations and desires. During the coaching sessions you will learn ways to harness those strengths to move forward and build a life you have always only dream of. Your coach will know you, will know where to push harder and where to allow you move forward on your own.
7. Communication skills. Unlike your friends, who want to tell you about their hardships and how they overcame them, your coach will listen. Truly listen to everything you say and hear what you sometimes are not saying. A coach has learned effective communication skills to drill to the actual problem. To ensure they know their client’s fears. Through proper communication, you and your coach will “hit the nail on the head”, find the solutions and then implement them.
8. Accountability. A coach will work within a set frame and time. They will, with you, find what is going to work best, by asking the right questions. Once all this is established, the coach will keep you accountable. It is like having a gym buddy. The mornings you feel lazy, you know you cannot pull out as there is someone else counting on you. And in this case, you will be counting on yourself through guidance and motivation from your coach.
Needing help is never weak. Needing help is never being helpless. Finding the right coach to work with you, is strength. It takes knowing yourself well enough to know, I no longer want to be stuck here. I want better, and I know I can do better. Please show me how.
Sue Leppan
Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SueLeppanLifeCoach/