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Blog: Negative Self-Talk : 6 Ways to Turn to Positive Self-Talk

“I am not lucky”. “I just do not get offered a job, I will never find one”. “People don’t like being around me, I am too weird”.

Have you ever said any of these things? Have you ever put yourself down in a general statement?

Guess what? Keep going at it and you will never reach any of your dreams! Keep telling yourself how “bad” you are, and your wish will be granted.


It does not matter what you say or to whom, your brain is going to interpret it as truth, because your brain does not know about lying. We invented lies, lies are a conscious decision that you make. Your brain takes everything you think and utter as the truth and it ensures that you receive what you desire.

We all agree that our bodies are around 70% water. Have you ever had the opportunity to see the work of Dr Masaru Emoto? (Read about his work : He did a study on the effect of words on water and in particular the formation of water crystals. Beautiful words brought on beautiful crystals. Negative words had indistinguishable crystals. He applied various techniques, music, prayer, etc. For now I am only interested in words. Now, think for a moment, if your body is 70% water, what effect does your thoughts and words have on your body?

If only we can see the effect we have on ourselves through our words, we would stop immediately.

Unfortunately, we conditioned ourselves to talk that way. It is ingrained in us and we think we know no other way.

Here are a few pointers to help you towards Positive Self-Talk:

· Stop using the word NOT.

Not does not exist. What is not? I do not amount to much – I will never be that lucky. I am not beautiful/handsome. I am not normal, I am weird. How does that look in your mind’s eye? You cannot see "Not Normal" or "Never Lucky". So, what is going to happen? You might be the most beautiful girl on this earth, the most intelligent man/woman, but if you want to belief you are not, by golly, you will not be beautiful or intelligent - because you belief it. Anyway, there is no such thing as a person who is weird – we are all individuals and I for one say thank the heavens. Imagine how boring life would have been if we were all the same.

· “Cancel” is your best friend.

We are human, and we say negative things. The moment you say something negative say “cancel, cancel, cancel”, and replace it immediately with something positive. If you cannot think of something positive to say then think of a beautiful flower, sunset, that cup of coffee you are going to enjoy just now. Anything that is not negative will do. Cancel that thought or those words immediately. You will be surprised that before long, you will no longer say “cancel”.

· Think about the seed you plant.

Be mindful of what you say before you utter it. Think of it as a seed. If you plant a seed and you do not feed and water it with positivity, how is it going to grow into something positive? If you want to have a positive attitude, well then plant positive seeds and feed them. Feed them every single day – feed the hell out them.

· You are not a pack-horse.

What other people say and think of you, is none of your business. There is absolutely no reason for you to pack all that on your back and pull yourself through life. You know who and what you are. What people think about us is anyway only about a third of who we are. There is a general rule that says we have 3 faces : One for the world out there, one for close friends and family, and one for ourselves. Now, you want to allow 1/3 of what people see about you to dominate your whole being? Does not sound right to me.

· No negative talk about other people.

Stop immediately. The moment you say something negative about another person, your brain picks it up as a though you are saying it about yourself. You say it, it must be true, so here is a bit more of that. Any negative words or thoughts become you. Remember that water crystal? If you say negative things, what happens to you? You are powerful, but not that powerful to turn negativity into positivity without working at it – you affect the whole being of who you are. Not the world out there, you affect your being.

· Gratitude.

You might think you are grateful for what you have, but are you really grateful for everything? Do you take joy and gratitude out of even the smallest things in your life? Do you have gratitude for all the things you take for granted? The fact that you have 5 fingers on every hand, or toes on every foot? That you can hear, that you can breathe freely, the fact that you live in an area where you can breathe clean air? The bee flying in your garden? What about the negative things that happen? They are just as important. They force us to learn, to change, to grow. Once you start looking at the multitude of things you already have, only then can you understand how amazing life already is and that you are special because here you are with all of this. Have gratitude for everything – good or bad.

We are all special. We all have something to offer this world – maybe we are here to have an impact on one or two people, maybe the world at large. Does not matter, what matters is that you matter and if you keep up with the negative self-talk you deny yourself the greatness of you.

You are amazing – no need to question that. Get up every morning, feel it in your heart, in your stomach. Say it out loud to yourself – “I am me, there is no other me and I have purpose”.

Do not start tomorrow, start now. Nobody is or need to give you permission. This is a choice you are going to make today.

Sue Leppan

Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

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