We all have heard the saying: Everything you want lies on the other side of fear.
How true is that. We live in a stereotypical box. We hate the life within, but we fear the life without. Then we wonder why we suffer from stress, anxiety, depression? Why do we land up in a rut and we escape to the control of social media?
We will do near anything to escape the life we live, except the one thing that can change it. Change itself.
We build lives for ourselves, set in routines year in and year out. We seldom venture outside that “box”. We feel safe in what we know. It is a big scary world out there, and if we change anything, we are not sure what we have to “pay” for that change.
By “pay” I mean the mundane that might have to be given up. We know how this feels. We know what desperation feels like to want to escape. We know what it feels like to live with stress, anxiety. We know that we are not “worth much” and that we do not “deserve” better. We tell ourselves this, every day while we travel to work. At night while we sit in front of the TV. We go to bed and we know what the struggle of tomorrow will be.
We are comfortable, but we are so desperate to escape.
If I change, what will be my cost? If I no longer have stress and anxiety, what will I have? If I no longer conform to the expectations of society, where will I fit? If I am laughed at and judged, where will I find my worthiness? What will be my cost should I decide to change?
Can you perhaps now see how you are caught in your own trap?
But we keep looking at the comparison of the negative. We never look at the comparison of the positive. The positive of finding your inner freedom and yourself. Knowing what it is to believe in yourself and to love yourself enough that you follow your dreams. We never consider, that on the other side of conformity, lies love, joy, peace and freedom.
When did you start becoming fearful of change?
As a baby, life changed every day. You learned to listen to voices and understand what they say. You learned to sit, crawl and walk. You learned how to eat with a spoon and later with a fork and knife. Were you ever scared of learning these things? Did you ever feel that if you changed from crawling to walking that your life was going to come to an end?
NO, we never gave it a second thought. We trusted blindly that everything will be good and that what we learn will make us better and improve our lives. We wanted the change. We could not wait for it. We tried every single day, until we got it right. No matter if people laughed at us, we just laughed with. It did not matter how many times we got it “wrong”, we never gave up. I do not see a world full of people crawling, eating with spoons, cannot communicate, etc.
No, we lost it somewhere along the line. There was a day when you suddenly told yourself, “I am not good enough”, “I am not worthy”, “I am stupid”, “I am a failure and people will laugh at me”. There is no person walking this earth who climbed in through your ears and told you all these things. No, you told them to yourself and you still do every single day.
You know why people laugh and judge you? Because you are challenging the status quo. You are challenging their fears. You are challenging them to change. That is why people laugh and judge. How dare you get out of the “control box” and try something new and different? How dare you live different than the excepted norm?
On this earth, we are only responsible for ourselves. Yes, I am not talking about being a parent, friend, spouse, etc. I am talking about your being. The person you are. The calling of your soul.
I have people in front of me all the time who reach that point where they no longer want to live in that “box”, but they do not know how to get out of it. Except that they want out. And the longer we deny that calling to get out, the harder life becomes. The more we stay in the known, the more we want out. But, we have all along the way, lost our childlike belief in ourselves and our abilities.
No child has ever told you he/she cannot be Superman. No child has every told you he/she cannot be a beautiful prince/princess. In their minds they are exactly that. They jump out of bed every morning, determined to be who they want to be. They are full of energy and excitement and the day lies ahead full of promise. Yes, they might not fly or live in a palace, but that is not the point. They believed they are exactly that which they choose to be. And then society comes along and stamp on that and they turn inward and they tell themselves, I cannot be what I want to be. They start believing that they have to stay within the “box”.
And that day, is the day we start climbing in our “box”. And we no longer get up every morning with energy, believing that we can be and achieve whatever we put our minds to. We loose our spark for life.
Well, take a moment and think back to that 4 or 6 year old. How you were going to conquer the world? Find that blind inner power again and believe in yourself.
The only person stopping you, is you.
What are you going to do about it?
Sue Leppan
Transformation Life Coach
NLP Practitioner
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