Do you talk yourself into Stress & Anxiety? 3 easy steps to help you change your dialogue.


STOP. What did you just now say to yourself? Were you telling yourself that things never work out for you? That you are not good enough?


Well, I have a surprise for you. Things always work out for you, just as you intended it to.

Most of us have heard about NLP along the way. What is NLP?


Neurolinguistic Programming is the process through which we identify our unconscious patterns of thoughts (“our words in our heads”) and the resulting behavior due to that narrative. And once recognized, through various techniques or therapies, we can change those patterns. NLP was discovered in the 1970’s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. They believed that by studying and identifying patterns of thought and behavior of successful people, they can teach it to other people. And how true did that proof to be.


Remember, your habit is a thought pattern, with a resulting behavioural pattern, that you have set in your subconscious over a period of time. It becomes your fall back behavior and is the status quo by which you live.


Now, let us go back to the start of this Blog and look at how you speak to yourself.


Imagine that it is your best friend you are speaking to, the same way you speak to yourself. You are constantly breaking him/her down, never supportive or never is a kind word to leave your lips. You always expect the worse to happen. You view them as a looser and a failure.

Would you remain friends with a person like that? I for one would love to run, except I can’t, because the voice runs with me. What is the result of this? Stress. Low self-view. Very little to zero self-love. No motivation – why bother? Always comparing myself to other people – never being good enough. Hey, never being amazing, powerful and plain awesome.


No wonder we go into stress and anxiety.


No wonder we try to “run away” from ourselves through avoidance and by escaping into social media and electronic entertainment. You say to yourself: Let me quiet this voice for just a little, let us escape into the phone or laptop.


If you have to go out every day, to face your own life, coming from a place where you know your best friend is always going to point out the worse in you, would you show up of your life? I would definitely not like to show up and I will avoid anything that can possibly take me to a place where I can grow and become the true me. I would go into hiding and avoid my friend – BUT I can’t. My friend is living in my head. More stress. More anxiety. And eventually, depression.


So, if I say that “Things always work out for you, just as you intended it to”, what am I saying?


Your thought process, if negative, will ensure a negative outcome. Failure. Debt. Lost relationships. No promotion. And more stress and anxiety.


Do you think it is likely that you speak better to the general public out there, than your status quo vocabulary? Not likely. We are creatures of habit. We live a life on auto pilot. We do not concentrate on what we are doing this moment, so words leave our mouths, without us even being aware of the impact they have on us. It is impossible for you to live a positive life if you narrate from a negative thought process.


NOW, if I speak to myself the way I speak to my friend, oh boy, you will not be able to stop me. I will believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. NO, I will know I can do anything I put my mind to, because I am already doing it. I already live the life I create in my head through my words.


Imagine you can “lie” to yourself and start creating the opposite of that which is “normal” to you now, and you can start living a life of abundance.


How do you do it?


1. Become aware. The most important step is to become aware of how you speak to yourself. Are you supportive of yourself? Are you kind to yourself? What is the vocabulary you use for yourself? A good exercise is to take a week and become aware of the type of words you use when you speak to yourself. Write it down and look at it at the end of the week. Not a nice sight is it? The big thing is you have started becoming aware of your personal language. The fact that you are aware, already means you are winning. You have opened the door to possibility, it now becomes your responsibility to step through it.

2. Become your best friend. Become comfortable with who you are. Each person came to this life to be the true self. Do you know what your true self is? What are the things that make your heart sing, your eyes shine and you cannot stop talking about it with excitement? That is who the true you are. That is the you that we want to meet. Comparing yourself to every other person on this planet is pointless. You are making yourself sick and you are the one loading the stress and anxiety. Become your own best friend and accept yourself as you are – accept that you special and amazing and that you can live a truly spectacular life.

3. Speak to yourself as though you are speaking to your best friend. Now that you are aware of the way you speak to yourself, start speaking to yourself as though you are supportive of a friend. Look how far you have already come, look at all the lessons you have already mastered, and now understand that you can do it. You can do it, because you have the best friend on your side. Remember, we are mostly negative because things do not happen instantly. Well let us go back to long ago: Rome was not built in one day. Remember that. Be patient, mostly, be patient with yourself.


You are an amazing human being. I for one, would love for you to show up and be true to that which makes you beam out to the world your special light. I know you want to. Freedom lies in that moment we become us, and we have peace with whom we are. And you are special and needed here and now.

Will you show up for your life? Will you become your own best friend and start speaking to yourself in that light? Surprise yourself and start now.


Sue Leppan

Master Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SueLeppanLifeCoach/

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E-mail: hello@sueleppan.co.za     Tel: +27 83 305 0330