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Blog : Your drug of choice – Anxiety, Stress, Worry – 5 Ways to Drop your Addiction

Oh WOW, now I have stepped on a few toes.

How can I say you are addicted to your stress or anxiety? Look at the kind of life we are leading, it is full of stress, there is no way you can rid yourself? People around you, make you so angry! You are a victim!

When you read the heading, did any of these pop into your mind?

Think for a moment, what are the excuses an addict will use?

Apart from the one, I am not an addict, I can stop tomorrow if I want? So, can you stop tomorrow and change your life if you want to? Yes, you can. BUT, will you? Now think again, are you, just maybe, addicted?

I agree, out there, life is crazy. We are running over people to achieve our goals. We are in constant competition to be the best, look the best and have the best. Everyone is chasing to get somewhere. You get pulled into the madness and you cannot see a way out. We spend more money to get instant gratification. That lasts all as long as it takes us to get home. We have the latest phones so we can run all our Apps, so we can see what goes on in the world outside.

What about the world right here, inside of you?

The truth, we have all become addicted to that kind of life. We have been conditioned, and we willingly did it ourselves, to believe that we can only function in this world if we follow the masses. Blindly. We never stopped and questioned. If I tell you to jump off the bridge without a rope, because everyone is doing it, will you? So why are you willing to jump into this life that is set by the media, social media, expectations of other, judgement by other, etc.?

There is some form of reward that we get from this anxiety, stress, worry, etc. There is some form of payoff. And hear clearly what I say – it is not necessarily a good payoff. But there is a payoff, otherwise you would have checked out long time ago. Very often, that payoff is linked to the voice in your head that tells you, I am not good enough. I do not deserve better. Oh, I do not think I can do that. I am scared. And how about, if I do not struggle then I did not work hard enough? You try to quieten that voice, by convincing yourself that you must fall in with life out there. You are in constant battle with that inner voice and your heart.

I know, from time to time we must face stressful situations. But, once you start living in that stress emotion, you are now out of control of your own life and emotions. An antelope will go into stress because a lion is chasing it. Once it has escaped, 30 minutes later, its whole state has returned to calm. Us, humans, we love to hash it over and live in that moment. We bring that emotion up at random and we create a life where we live in the past and start fearing the future. And the moment you live in the past you live in stress and the moment you live in the future you live in anxiety. Because your past experience, please note an experience, is dictating your future.

That experience, was only a lesson. Take the lesson, own the lesson, and move on.

It is easier to follow the masses than to say STOP.

Stop, I no longer want to live like this. Stop, I do not care if you judge me. This is my life. I live this life. I take control back, thank you.

It is a fear like you have never experienced to say STOP. But, oh my, the reward when you own yourself and your life, is so worth it.

So where do you start.

1. Take Ownership. You can only change that, what you own. If you do not own the Eiffel Tower, you cannot sell it. If you do not own your emotions, you cannot get rid of them. Also, it does not help to suppress them and deny them, that is exactly why you are in excessive states of anxiety and stress. Suppressing your emotions is not getting rid of them, it builds them – in a very basic explanation. Own your stress. Own your anxiety. It is yours, it does not belong to your partner, to your friend, to your boss or the company. All these other entities are responsible for their emotions – except the company, that has no emotions. Strange that you blame the company?

2. Become quiet and honest. What is creating this stress inside you? What is the true source? Only when you become quiet and you are no longer scared to become honest with yourself, can you identify the true source. Where you are now, in this state of the n’th degree, started somewhere. Now, here, is a build up over years. Be honest with yourself. Go quiet. Listen what comes into your head when you ask the question to yourself and you truly listen. And when you find the answer, you will hear your heart. You will hear what the true calling of your heart is. Chances are, you are fighting your heart.

3. Get up earlier. How did your morning start? Did you set the alarm so that you jump out of bed, get going and get the family up? Rushing everyone along because there is no time? No time. What time did you go to bed? Why not go to bed half an hour earlier and get up half an hour earlier? When you woke, did you grab your phone first, to check what is going on – outside in the world? What emotions did you wake up with? Why are you so scared of your own world? I wake every morning 4.40 am so I can start my day with exercise at 5.15am. I do not touch my phone until around 8 am… (I lie, I will light the screen to see if there is a notification of a message from my exercise buddy.But I light the screen, if there is no message notification, I move on. I do not open my messages, Facebook, Instagram, etc.) Does that scare you? What is so important about other people’s lives that it cannot wait until 8 am? Why not try it and see if your world came tumbling down, if the sky turned green. And then, how did your day go when you started your day calmer? Were you by any chance calmer? More organized?

4. Cause and Effect. By living on the side of effect, you are affected and influenced by every other person and event on this earth. You gain your happiness or sadness from the outside world. You live outside of your own body. Come back inside. If I spew an insult at you and you do not except it, who does it belong to? (If I give you a present and you do not accept it, who does that present belong to?) You do not have to take everything outside of you on, into your heart and make it yours. You really do not have to. Leave it out there if it does not belong to you. Become the cause of your life. Become the cause of your own happiness - that kind of happiness is permanent. If you do not have it yet, then fake it till you make it. Tell yourself every morning, I am happy. Set the attitude and then look at your day. You might be surprised by the end of the week.

5. Gratitude. Do you ever stop to be grateful for what you have? The fact you have all your senses? There is a beautiful world out there, that you no longer notice? What did the sky look like this morning when you started your commute? Gratitude that you are alive? Gratitude that there are people out there, also alive, who can support your business, so you can have an income? The moment you change your attitude to gratitude, you will be amazed at the change that happens in your world. You will be rocked in your foundations. (Very likely that panic will strike as you will not know what to do with all this love and happiness. What a wonderful problem to have.)

Make that leap today with these two steps. First, fake it till you make it and tell yourself you are happy. And second, change your attitude to gratitude. I worked these two steps for quite a while, until I got up one morning and no longer had to tell myself I was happy. I was just happy. I started a gratitude book that is next to my bed, and every evening I list whatever I can from the day, that I am grateful for. Now, sometimes during the day, I will look around me and my heart fills with love from nowhere. Because I am here, I get to live on this beautiful planet, in this amazing village.

And get ready for a life that will be ready for change. Get ready for a life that will take your breath away.

Come on, where you are now is not working. Why not take the leap?

Sue Leppan

Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

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