Most people fear death. The only certainty in life they say – we all will die one day.
So why do so many people prefer to die slowly every single day? Why do we not enjoy life now, while we are here and alive? Yes, You, and you, and you.
If you choose to live with anxiety you are killing yourself every day, agonizingly slow. We are not even aware of killing ourselves. We have become comfortable in the turmoil we live in. We crave it, it is all we know. It has become our comfort zone and we are so scared to step out of it.
If you live in anxiety, you live in the future. You live your life in want, you always concentrate on what you do not have. And what can you do about the future? Absolutely nothing.
Your future lies here, in the now.
We are not promised tomorrow. We have no power in controlling the future. We cannot say how things will turn out. Who will be involved and their role. What influences will be in play. You have absolutely no control over tomorrow, next week, next month or next year.
You can only control the here and the now. This very second. The second that has just past, or the one coming, is not ours.
Only now belongs to us.
Anxiety causes stress, and we all are happy to accept that stress kills. What we do not realise is, that stress kills us slowly. Some are lucky and have a serious health scare. Yes lucky, because it very often stops people in their track and they start looking at their lives and make the necessary changes. For the majority, we trod along every day, killing ourselves slowly.
We loose our love of life. We loose our joy. We have no energy. The days look dark and we hate Mondays. We work for the 2 weeks we get off every year, and then stress because there is not enough money. And before we know where we are, we are in this deep dark pool, with no light and we have hit depression. Now we start taking pills, to get us through the day, and we loose all emotional contact that we have with life. Our families suffer, at work we are only but a zombie. You can now be controlled, by the boss, by the media, advertising, etc. Numbness has taken over, and we cannot enjoy a single second of life, on this earth.
Anxiety is not caused by anyone else, but by ourselves.
We choose to live on that level. The sooner you take a long hard look in the mirror, and take responsibility for your own life, the sooner you can stop the spinning wheel you placed yourself on and you can start living again.
But how do you do this:
1. What is my payoff? What is it that feeds you, to stay in this state of anxiety? What are you addicted to? Yes, you are addicted, otherwise you would have made a change. Keeping up with the Joneses can’t be it, because the Joneses sell their house and they move on. It can’t be your family, because you are valuable to your family. Your time and love are far more important than the fancy, out the box car you drive. And you are teaching your children, that that is the way life is lived. All they want is time and love. What is your fix? What do you get out of the deal with this addiction? Fear? Martyr? Anger? Insecurity? What is behind your anxiety?
2. Gratitude. Why can’t you have gratitude for what you have? Once you look at your life from a place of gratitude, you will come to the conclusion, that what you have is amazing. You have a safe shelter, you have food on your table, you drive a car, you have a TV in your house, you currently have your health. And on, and on, and on. Have you ever sat down and made a list of all the things you have in your life – those with a monetary value and those without. And then look at the list, and decide which side weighs more? How much time do you give to each of the two sides? You might be very surprised. And if you do not have gratitude, start today. You will be amazed by the end of the month, how much more you have to be grateful for. Come on, it is only pen and paper. Try it.
3. Be realistic. Plan your day. Plan your path. Know where you are going, what you would like to achieve. BUT, be realistic. Rome was not built in one day. Laurel and Hardy was not Superman. But we each have our own ability and specialty that is needed in this world. We do have stressful periods from time to time, that is normal. Life happens, and things go wrong. But so what, then we sort it out. But on a whole, be realistic on your goals. Most goals are unrealistic and that is why we start on this spinning wheel, in the first place. Remember the Joneses from above? They have different goals and priorities to you. If you want to keep up with them, you better change your whole person. Only realise, you will not have the family you have, or do the things you like. Be realistic. We are here to live our life – no one else’ life.
4. Release the control. What are you afraid of? Why do you want to control everything? What scares you about going with the flow? Just do not go with the flow so much that you do not get up in the morning to do your bit. You still have your duties and responsibilities to perform. But why do you want to control everything? You can’t. You live on a planet with 7 billion other souls. A tiny part of that 7 billion influences your life every day. Then throw in the weather, mechanics, electronics, headaches, etc., and it becomes very apparent that you have no hope of controlling the world at large. Focus on your goal, your path, your joy, and life will become so amazing.
5. Live in the now. If you do nothing else, accept one thing, that you live in the now. Yesterday, an hour, a second ago, is past. You can never have it back, you cannot go and change it. Make peace with it. What did not happen, what did happen, happened. Now let us move forward. A second from now, an hour from now, tomorrow we have absolutely no control over. You cannot move forward and make sure it is going to be the way you want it and then come back to live it. If you cannot make a plan in the general run of life and instead of a stew make soup, then you need to take a breath, and think again.
6. Make a decision. Scary, but make one. Make yourself a promise, to make a decision and to choose. Make a decision to get out of the spinning wheel, and to live the kind of life where you, are you. Where you can be a spouse, a parent and a child, with all the love and kindness that you have to give to your family. Make a decision today, that money cannot define your love. Make a decision today, to be the best version of yourself to the world. Make a decision today, to live.
We live in a world controlled by media and advertising. By fake people who plaster their lives across social media and make fortunes. If they can, we can. But, what about the photos they do not post? What about the moments in between the photos? They are also only human.
Be happy with you. You are enough, just the way you are.
This is your life. Meant to be lived in love and gratitude. Not want and desire.
Please make a choice today, and I hope you choose love, joy and happiness.
Transformation Life Coach
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