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Blog: How do I Change? 3 Factors that work against you.

Most often, the answer I get from my question “How can I help, what is your greatest question?”, is “I want change. I am stuck. I have stagnated. How do I move forward?”

This is our biggest struggle in life. How do I change and move forward?

Unfortunately, we search for that answer outside of us. We try to change the environment we move in. We leave our jobs, our relationships. We hide behind social media and television. We fill our lives with stress and anxiety, because nothing will change. We start to procrastinate, because we no longer look forward to tomorrow.

Now, if you would still for one moment, and realise how difficult it is to do that change from within, and therefore it is near impossible to do that change from without. But, the change has to come from the inside to change the outside.

The world we live in, is created by our own perceptions, actions, thoughts and words. Each one of us, live in our own world, here on earth. And what makes up that world? How is it created?

We can choose whether our lives will be full of stress and anxiety, or harmony and gratitude. It is a commonly accepted principle, that when you live in a life full of stress, you are living in the past. And, when you are living in a state of anxiety, you are living in the future. The past is about trying to change something that has happened. Try as you might, you cannot turn the clock back. Where can you make the change? And the future? When you spend your day worrying about an outcome and running the “movie” of tomorrow over and over in your head. It has not happened. You have no idea how it will really play out. But for now, your stress and anxiety are real and you become paralyzed and you procrastinate. That plays of in the now. It is very real for you. You think it and you can feel it. It does exist in your world.

Where can you make the difference?

Only in the now. Right here and now is the only place where you can make a change. Does not matter the past, you can make a change now, so your future is not influenced or ruled by your past. The moment you start living in the here and now, in consciousness, you can directly influence your future outcome.

There is three factors that make you the person you are. Living in the world you created. How and where do you start?

Three factors:

1. THOUGHTS. Your thoughts are the very first action you take towards creating your life here on earth. A very powerful tool. Everything starts with a thought. Be it a spark that is a new idea of how to tackle a task, an idea that can open a path for you, what to say at the next meeting, etc. Or, your thoughts might be around what you do not like, who you do not like, why you do not want to do something, etc. Everything starts with a thought. From there we move out and on. As I said, thoughts are very powerful. Use them consciously. What is your dominant instant thought? Is it negative or positive? Do you always find a solution or are you always seeing only the problem? Become conscious of your thought patterns. If you must, start keeping score. It might shake you in your boots to see how often your thoughts are negative.

2. WORDS. How do you speak? Not only out loud to other people, but to yourself. We are in constant conversation with ourselves. Do you criticize yourself all the time? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough or not worthy? How do you speak about people you have contact with? Or even when you drive? What kind of words do you use? The inner dialogue we have, has an enormous effect on our daily state of mind. Would you like to live around a person who constantly criticizes you? Who always holds you back and tells you, you will not achieve something? So why do you do it to yourself? Do you speak yourself out of something because your emotions kicked in and the fear and doubt running in your body, influences the way you speak to yourself? Why do you have those doubts and fears? What are your limiting beliefs? Beliefs that you have conditioned yourself to belief, over many years. All this play on the way we speak to ourselves and ultimately, how we speak to the world at large.

3. ACTIONS. Last in the line, but as the saying goes, not least. Your actions will be a direct outcome of your thoughts and your words. How can it be different? If you think and you speak negatively, down at yourself, in fear and doubt, you cannot any other way but for your actions to follow. Try as you might, you will not be productive and show initiative if you keep on telling yourself you are not worth it. If you keep telling yourself, you do not deserve it. What happens the moment you have a negative thought? Chemicals release into your body and you get that instant feeling of fear or doubt. Then stress and anxiety steps in and the result is NOTHING. Absolutely nothing will happen the moment your body starts running with your brain. Action? What action? Get the first two factors in line, before you even start with no 3. Otherwise, failure, stagnation, disappointment and frustration will be your constant state.

The only things that should stop you temporarily is:

· I am not physically ready to do this. Yet.

· I do not have enough knowledge. Yet.

· I cannot afford it financially. Yet.

Once you decide you want something and all the above factors are congruent, the “excuses” will only be temporarily. You will get there. You will make it happen. Start at the foundation and watch all your excuses disappear.

When can you do something about your stress, anxiety, fear, doubt, being stuck and frustrated? Right now. Only in this moment.

Change your thoughts, words and actions and your life has not other option, but to work out as you see it.

Watch my video on Thoughts, Words and Action on my Facebook page:

Sue Leppan

Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

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