Blog: Go Ahead – Be Daring – Have an Affair. 5 Ways How To


Even if you have never before had an affair, I am sure you can imagine the excitement. Planning the next time you will meet. Planning what you will do. Where will you go? And then the constant fear of being caught out. Slipping away with no one knowing. The excitement is tangible.


You dress up. You plan your day and what you will wear before the time. You shop for nice perfume, not too strong. Just enough to invite them closer. You spend time on your hair. You take extra care with saving. And the amount of aftershave is just right. You walk around with a smile that tells the world that you have a secret.


And then you slip away with no one knowing where you are off to. It is your secret and your secret time. Should anyone happen to ask, you are just quickly running to the shop.

Is it not amazing how we can find time for an affair with someone? Now how about it, if that someone is YOU?


We constantly complain we have no time for ourselves to do the things we like.


But if you were actually having an affair with anyone else, you miraculously would have found the time. Plus, you would have done all the above and still managed your daily responsibilities.


You are the only person on this earth that you are sure about. The one person who will never leave you. The one person who will always have your back. (Well, sometimes he/she can drop you in embarrassing situations, but well worth the laugh afterwards.)


Why are you not important enough to have an affair with? Why do you not make the time for yourself?


Here is how you can have an amazing affair with yourself:


  • Give attention to your appearance. When you go out to tea or coffee with your friends, or drinks, or dinner, you always dress up. At the very least, ladies look in the mirror on the way out and put some lipstick on. It is very important that you do decide on how you are going to dress when you have an affair with yourself. We are humans from this earth – when we look good we feel good. Do not drag yourself to the coffee shop in your PJ’s. You are having an affair after all, you want to look good for the other person. Make sure you do. Your confidence level will sky rocket and you will have fun. If you have ever had the joy of travelling, you would have noticed that people in Europe dress nicely for every day activities. They put detail into their attire. If you never dress up otherwise, have one “dress-up day”.

  • Once a week coffee date. I have a long-standing date with myself on a Saturday morning, when the whole world is running around, to take an hour. I walk into a coffee shop by myself – exactly at that time when everyone is sitting with someone or their families. I sit down and order a coffee and sometimes something sweet. They actually know me now at some of the shops and as soon as I sit down they bring me the newspaper and a glass of water. They ask if it is only coffee today? And then they leave me. They know I will call when I want to pay. And for an hour I sit and read the paper, watch the people, or just day dream. I never look at my phone in that hour. It is my time. Life will carry on normally afterwards. In a full week, it is only one hour.

  • Once a month movie date. This can be an absolute treat once you realise that once you sit down in the movie, no one knows that you are there alone. You can go and see whatever you want – be it espionage, romance, comedy. Does not matter and you do not have to compromise a time or day. You go when you want to go. And, buy yourself popcorn and a small packet of sweets and I enjoy the movie like a child. Do you remember when you took joy out of something like that? It is wonderful. Most of us anyway get annoyed when people sit and talk during the movie and you cannot hear what is going on. Here is your chance. Enjoy!

  • Relaxing Sunday evening bath. Why not a Sunday evening? It is the one day of the week where you will have enough time to get the children sorted in time. Where supper is prepared and enjoyed and there is time to clear up. For that hour, your bathroom can become your sanctuary. Male or female, treat yourself to a facial. Run a bath with lovely bath oils, light a candle, put some pads on your eyes and let “heaviness” sink into you as you enjoy the warmth of the water. It is important to have the light as low as possible to cut out artificial lighting. You want to relax, not have a bright light that reminds you about all the other things you have to do. For starters you are likely to have a good night’s rest afterwards and what better way to be ready for the start of the week.

  • Do something out in nature. Be it a walk along the beach, finding a spot to paint or write, a good place for photography. Or meditate out in your garden. You have to find something that feeds your soul. Maybe you just sit and write a journal, maybe you have dreams of a book you want to write. (It is an affair, you do not have to tell anyone.) Maybe your photos are only for you, but maybe you want to share them on Instagram. It does not matter what it is and how you do it or what your plan is with it. The big thing is to find something that feeds your soul. Something that recharges you. So many people completely forget who they are and what they like. Do not stress, it will come. Take your time and romance with the various options.

In this crazy world we live in, we lose ourselves. We forget what we like. We forget what inspires us and how to feel good. We forget that we count and that we are special.


It is very important to like yourself. There is absolutely no way that you can like the world out there and be a good partner in any aspect of life, if you do not like yourself. What and how we feel shows in our life.


The truth is that when you have an affair with someone you see them in a different light.


You start to like them and all the things they do, their mannerism, the things they say, the beat of their hearts. Give that gift of an affair to yourself.


Start liking and loving yourself. Make time for yourself. Have an affair with the most beautiful person on this earth – YOU.


Sue Leppan

Transformation Life Coach

NLP Practitioner

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SueLeppanLifeCoach/

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E-mail: hello@sueleppan.co.za     Tel: +27 83 305 0330