On a daily basis, I hear about people who feel they are “caught in a trap”. They feel stuck and they do not know how to get out. Stress and anxiety sets in. Eventually, they are functioning at half their capacity, escaping in social media, alcohol, drugs, etc.
They want to change everything around them. Their job, their spouses, where they live. Everything outside of them they want to change. Everything outside of them, is blamed for where they are now. “That so-and-so did this again and made me so angry.” “That person is droning on and on, I switch off and no longer participate in the process. They are so infuriating.” Sound familiar?
The reality is, it is near impossible to change ourselves, how are we going to change the world outside of us?
Fortunately, we do not have to worry about the world outside of us for change.
If you want change, make the change inside of you. Live life from the inside out.
Our life is made up of our thoughts, actions and how we speak. 90% of the thoughts we had yesterday, we will have today. 90% … Now, that in it self should wake you up and make you realise that you are living in circles.
What would be your dream life? Can you see it? Do you think you are going to achieve from you are at the moment? Most likely not. But you do not have to give up on it. Every day is a T-junction day. Every day, at any moment you can decide I no longer want to live like this. I am taking stock, being accountable and I am changing my life and changing my path, towards my dream.
If you want the desired change in your life that you strive for, then you must do something different if you are not achieving your goal. And that something different is the way you think, speak and act. And how do you do that?
For the next 2 weeks:
· Write down your 5 dominant thoughts. What are your dominant thoughts? What is the dominant question that you ask yourself each and every day in your own head? What do you stress about all the time?
· Write down your 5 dominant acts. What do you do every day, apart from getting up and dressed, etc. What do you do when you are not “busy”? What is the behavior you fall back on the moment you go into auto-drive? What is your “escape habit”?
· Listen to the way you speak. Is it mostly positive or negative? Are you a problem solver or do you only find problems? Are you speaking down to yourself, or do you lift yourself up?
You will be astounded at the end of the 14 days, when you look at yourself. Now, you can answer the questions:
Am I a victim or a fighter?
Am I my own enemy or am I my own worrier?
· The next step, for the next 7 days, keep track of your emotions around these thoughts, words and actions. Your emotions, and the release of the relevant chemicals, is why we say that you have become “addicted” to your emotional state. You have become addicted to living in stress and anxiety. The emotions kick in and you are in the familiar. You are in a place of “comfort” and you sit back and let life pass you by. Your body is showing the first signs of being in charge of your life – your thoughts, words and acts.
You have reached the point where you say: “Ah, welcome the familiar. Now I can go back to my way of thinking, speaking and doing”.
The moment you change the fear, doubt and stress into gratitude, your life takes on a different path.
· Start writing down 1 thing, every day, that you are grateful for. One thing. The following week you find two things, and you continue. Mostly, before end of week one, you will already have more than one thing to be grateful for. Most important, feel that gratitude.
You start thinking, speaking and acting differently. You have made different and new connections in your brain, and you start changing that 90% thought process.
If you are not going to ask for help, then you better start “faking it till you make it”. If you start and end your day with gratitude, and you start with only one thing a day, it will grow and grow until it becomes your new way of thought, talk and action.
So what if you do not feel it? You fake it till it becomes true. Keep telling yourself I am grateful. You will be amazed at how your life starts to change.
If you are serious about changing your life, then you must start with you. And who are you?
You are your thoughts, words and actions.
Transformation Life Coach
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